Caught out
by mfindlow
Summary: There really is a plausible explanation for this, officer!


Author notes: Written for falkner's prompt "any, any, who's the naked guy asleep in your car?" at fic_promptly  
Summary: There really is a plausible explanation for this, officer

Jack was just in the process of pulling his phone out to call through to the hub and let the team know they were okay, when the policeman wrapped his fingers against the window.

Jack smiled congenially and lowered the window down. Normally he wouldn't entertain the local constabulary, but they were miles from Cardiff and chances were slim that they knew about Torchwood this far away.

'Can I help you, officer?'

'I noticed your vehicle parked near the local pub and wanted to make sure you were okay to drive. You don't seem to be local and it's a wee bit early to be drinking.'

'We're good. Thanks.'

'All nighter was it?' he replied, peering more carefully into the car now that he could see past the heavily tinted windows. He had a natural distrust for strangers causing trouble on his patch.

'Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?'

Jack almost did a double take, looking across at Ianto still peacefully slumbering in the passenger seat. He was indeed naked, wearing only Jack's coat for warmth.

Jack nearly blurted out the word boyfriend instinctually, then stopped himself. Chances were good that a gay couple parked in this copper's village with one of them lacking clothes would only end up with them getting arrested. Especially in these parts where tolerance and open-mindedness were still a few years off.

'Best friend. We may have had a few too many, and I don't really remember how he lost his clothes. Figured we should hole up til the morning just to be on the safe side.'

Jack hoped the PC didn't look inside their car too hard, or he'd quickly find the pile of sodden clothes on the back seat. A further search of the vehicle would cause all sorts of problems, not the least of which would be the handguns in the glove box and the cache of medical drugs in the boot.

In truth, he and Ianto had been out in the back end of nowhere, Mid Wales, trying to track down an alien signal. It had resulted in them trudging through freezing cold bracken and hillside most of the night to no avail. In the pitch darkness Ianto had managed to stumble into a stagnant pool of water, soaking all of his clothes. It was all they could do to give up their search and make it back to the SUV before Ianto froze to death in wet clothing. Jack had forced him to strip off, and despite some feeble protests, Ianto knew it was the only sensible course of action.

Jack cranked the heater up and started for home, but the roads were largely unmapped and the darkness made it almost impossible to navigate. When he approached the tiny village he decided the best thing to do would be to wait until morning when he could make out the roads and any signs.

'Right,' the policeman nodded slowly, trying to figure out of they'd committed any offence before he let them go. 'Where are you headed?'

'Cardiff,' Jack replied

'Okay, well so long as you're off we'll leave it at that shall we?' Useless city folk, he thought. Think they can come out here for kicks on the weekend, cause havoc, and then drive back to their nice cosy apartments in the city.

'Thankyou.'

Jack made a quick getaway and turned the SUV rather a bit hastily out of the layby, stirring Ianto from his sleep.

'Where are we? Why's it morning?' Ianto asked blearily. 'And why am I, no don't worry, I remember that bit.'

'The roads were too dark to drive so I pulled over. Then I got pulled over by the blues and twos.'

'Huh?' It was too early for making sense of Jack's odd explanations.

'Yep, they wanted to know why I was transporting a sexy naked Welshman.'

Ianto wasn't sure that Jack wasn't making things up, which he sometimes did just to see if he could get a rise out of him.

'Whatever,' he mumbled. 'Can we go home now?'

Jack decided to let it go for the moment. He smiled in spite of himself, knowing that he could enjoy torturing Ianto's sensibilities with embarrassment later.


End file.
